Ode to Khushwant Singh

He cared a fuck about what we thought, 

Showed his finger to the world at large.

Every evening filled his whisky glass,

And unleashed his malice towards all.

We loved his wit, ribald jokes and all.

We loved his pen, dipped in vitriol.

Those who read deeper stood in awe,

A scholar! Disguised as a sardar.

Deep erudition with earthy wit,

Knowledge, conviction, and a viewpoint.

In Urdu, Punjabi, and English.

In your face, he seldom held back.

He cared little for all the medals,

Nor for all the barbs flung at him.

Immersed in life, but largely immune,

He lived fully, and left, on his terms.

The future of AI

Attached below is the link to an excellent article on data analytics and AI.

It is scary to think of the future. Big data has been made possible with the ubiquity of computing networks and data collecting mechanisms, and  the increasingly cheaper outlay required on computing resources. Now it is humans that write programs to make the computers understand and extract sense from that pile of meaningless data. The humans provide the sense, the computers the power, and we control the way it evolves. Starting with the steam engine it has been the same story - where the machines were "dumb" and acted only as a force multiplier to efforts directed by sentient humans.

But now, all that is set to change, or rather is already changing. The computers are getting equipped to make sense of the piles of data passing through them, and they are set to continuously learn. Couple this with advances in another field, robotics, and what do you get? The computers are of course guiding the robots which are getting increasingly sophisticated, and soon they will also have enough intelligence to completely take over. The driverless cars are already a reality, but we tell them where to go. Soon, they will decide where to go on their own. Ditto with assembly line robots in factories. If the smart home today can order groceries on its own through the sensors in the refrigerator talking to the phone, which in turn is linked to the grocer's shop, which can then send pilotless drones to drop the stuff you need (think Amazon) and deliver it to your house, how long before the robots in the factory decide what to manufacture on their own? Data on designs will of course be resident on the computers, and the 3-D printers will take care of the rest. Talking of 3D printers, they are printing human organs using live cells already. How long before they print entire humans? The only thing missing is the brains, but then AI will soon take care of that.  The resultant humans can of course be programmed with superhuman capabilities, or in a scene out of Huxley's Brave New World, be programmed for highly specialized specific tasks. The overall control and coordination will of course rest with the computers.

And soon after that the computers will band together - they already can since they are anyway all linked - elect their own king, and enslave all the humans. Thankfully, I shall be dead by then.

( see http://goo.gl/GWXue5  for the article "Learning and the future of Analytics")

Dinesh Gopalan

mob: 9845257313; blog: http://www.dineshgopalan.com

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Reading between the lines - loud and clear!: The Art of Corporate Survival Part 3

Corporates pride themselves on being open, transparent, fair, egalitarian, democratic, driven, ethical and working towards all kinds of objectives which have no relation to making money or merely advancing individual agendas. The reality of course is far different. What they perceive themselves to be makes them speak in a particular way. Reality however makes us interpret it differently.

After working for many years in corporates, this what I understand when this what I hear:

What I hear: We encourage diversity

What I understand: Please come dressed the same, talk the same, walk the same, and we have made sure all your cubicles look the same.

What I hear: We encourage individual initiative

What I understand: We expect you to spend all your time on projects the Company considers important

What I hear: We are all for Work-Life balance. We endorse it fully

What I understand: Your Company is your Life. Now balance your Life and your Work.

What I hear: We encourage independent thinking

What I understand: The boss is always right

What I hear: You should follow your heart

What I understand: If your heart tells you to do what is in our Top 10 initiatives, it is in the right place

What I hear: We want you to be bold, courageous, independent and chart your own destiny

What I understand: How come this plan is not feeding exactly into what H.O. wants? By the way, the font you are using is not as per Company policy

What I hear: We want you to give full expression to your creativity, and we want you to speak your mind

What I understand: Please ensure you adhere to our 'political correctness policy', 'no mention of politics, sex or religion policy', 'no offending any race, group or religion policy', and get your presentation cleared by the Communications Department before you send it out

What I hear: We want to give every individual the means to advance in their career

What I understand: In our Company, career ladders go vertically, horizontally, laterally and randomly. HR will prove that you have advanced in your career path. Congratulations on your advancement!

What I hear: We want you to think freely, innovate

What I understand: Please contribute at least two ideas by next week. You have not met your innovation targets

What I hear: We work for the Stakeholders

What I understand: They hold the Stakes - they can nail you to the Cross

What I hear: We work for the Stakeholders

What I understand: Look, this is what MY boss wants. And you report to me. So get it done!

What I hear: We allow you to pursue your heart's desires

What I understand: Provided it aligns with Company priorities

What I hear: The Company will take care of your family

What I understand: You are so busy taking care of the Company that you won't have the time to do it. We will send the cheque home

What I hear: We believe in always being connected

What I understand: Why the *&!*!& was your phone switched off last night?!

What I hear: You can follow whatever religion you want

What I understand: Do you know by heart the Company's Vision statement, Mission statement, and key catechisms? Can you recite the Gods in the Company's pantheon? What have you done to appease them yesterday? Can you tell me the favorite offerings that each God likes? 

What I hear: The Customer is king

What I understand: Find out what the muppets want

What I hear: Scrapping this project will help us better align with our stakeholders

What I understand: That's what you said last year when you introduced the project

The Son Rises

So the Congress has finally "announced" RaGa as the PM candidate. A development that was foreseen years ago. When the Prince is born, there is never any doubt that he will one day take over the throne. 

The Son Rises

The Son rises, or is rising,

or will rise, or has risen.

Look, there he is, bright and shining,

Point the coterie of sycophants.

They crowd, they point, they clap and cheer,

All Hail the rising Son, savior!

They cheer, they wave, point in wonder,

"He will ensure we rule for ever!"

The people crane their necks to look,

They shove and strain, so they can see.

But they can't see any light, nor splendor,

The Son is dark, meek and insipid!

His effulgence is seen to none,

He hides it, and he hides it well.

He simpers, and points to his crown,

But for that - clothes, the Emperor has none!

PS: This is what I had written after the 2004 elections when Madam gave the throne to her trusted deaf-and-dumb retainer to guard

Post Elections 2004

 

A queen raised to the throne by marriage,

Prefers to steer, but not drive, the carriage;

Holding the wheel of the gravy train,

With the driver, singhing in the reign!

 

Spurning the throne that is unstable,

While still at the head of the table;

Looking down, from a high moral standpoint,

At the turncoats, who would have her anoint!

 

Waiting for the Hand to become stronger,

And the whip to become somewhat longer,

The ringmaster removes herself from the scene,

While directing the circus from within!

 

Sardar ko saunp di gaddi sambhaalne,

Aur chali gayi bacchon ko paalne,

Phir aayegi apna haq maangne,

Aur saunpegi bacchonko, sambhaalne!

--
Posted By Dinesh Gopalan to Personal Finance, Investments, and other things at 1/17/2014 08:13:00 AM

Moving to the Next Level: The Art of Corporate Survival Part 2

You are always doing something that is going to take you, and the company, to the next level.

 

Please write this down in bold letters, and hang it by your bedside. Just as Krishna saw Arjuna sitting at the foot of his bed on waking up, every day on waking up you should see this sheet first. As you get up you should say "Whatever I do today will take my company to the next level".   Don't think too much of what the next level might be; it will confuse you into irrelevant detail. Also, don't ever acknowledge the fact that you have been working in the same position for the last three years, have seen several bosses declare that the department is going to move to the next level, have yourself declared several times to your subordinates that you all are moving to the next level, but in actual fact, you have been in the same position. For as long as you can remember you have not moved an inch; both mentally and physically. All you have been doing is hauling yourself from meeting to meeting declaring that in the next six months you have to move to the next level; and you have put on a paunch in the meanwhile. Don't think about such things – self doubt is the enemy of all things corporate. So repeat after me "This project <name the project> here is going to take the company to the next level!".  Practise saying this with a rising inflection in the tone.

 

Also remember, whenever you are asked, and several times without even being asked, you should say "We have made tremendous progress in the last six months". Why six months? Because it is short enough to be counted in this year's appraisal cycle, and long enough for you not to be challenged. Saying "one month" is an invitation to disaster, because everyone remembers what you actually did in the last one month. Say six months, and the listener will be vaguely impressed, after all, you seem to have been quite busy in the last six months, and there is something you must have done. So you must have made some progress, if you say so. And why does it matter that you say it? It matters because all companies take pride in having "SMART Measurable Actionable Realistic Time-bound" goals (note how "SMART here is recursive!),   but no one really has a clue what the goals are and how to go about measuring them. One of the ways to make people believe you have done a lot of work is to keep reiterating it; if you keep splattering it around, some of it is bound to stick.

 

Look at the downside. If you don't say that you have made tremendous progress, who will say it for you? People will start having nagging doubts about you – have you been to the zoo and looked at a cage full of gorillas? What do you expect the gorillas to do? Beat their chests of course. If all the gorillas are beating their chests and snarling at you from inside the cage, but for one, who stares self-deprecatingly and looks at his feet, what do you conclude? You conclude that he is a wimp, and write him off. The same thing happens in the corporate world to those who don't thump their chests loudly once in a while. They get written off, and come next appraisal, they will see their peers walking away with all the bananas (sorry, increments).

 

All bosses like to see you aspire for something above and beyond. You need to constantly give the impression that you are striving, and thus doing your best to maximize the boss' welfare. How better to do this than constantly trying to move to the next level? Giving too many specifics like exact numbers and quantified goals are quite dangerous; a very confident assertion of movement (to the next level, just to make it very clear) is sufficient. However, be very sure to say this with utmost confidence while looking people in the eye. A shifty-eyed mumbling that "we are going to move to the next level" along with lots of shuffling of your feet just won't do.  The right body language is very important.

 

As to the "we have made tremendous progress" bit, it is also like one of these self-affirmations that they tell you to repeat, like, "day by day I am becoming better in every way". It is a self-fulfilling assertion, self-fulfilling not in the sense that you actually have made progress because you said so, but in the sense that if you say it enough times, maybe you start believing it yourself.  Such a belief serves to keep your self-esteem intact.

 

As to how it is possible that everyone in the company is constantly striving to move to the next level, everyone has made tremendous progress in the last six months, and yet everyone seems to be collectively in the same place, is a mystery worth pondering upon. I have pondered upon this many times in my career but have not reached a conclusion. I guess it is best left unsolved as one of those eternal mysteries of corporate life!