Friday, February 17, 2012

History of Phantom, in three parts

History of Phantom: in three parts

This History is written by my good friend Girish Phatarphod. As a keen follower of Phantom, I can certify its authenticity. And of course, written in his inimitable style, absolutely delightful.

dinesh


PART 1


Today is Feb 17th. Here is a question for all of you. Several centuries ago, on Feb 17th, an "organization" was "formally" created by a swearing in ceremony. (The quote marks are important). You have to find/name that organization. Rest assured, all of you know about it - its not something you are unaware of. Here are the characterestics of this organization -
 
1) It is non-religious.
2) It is the wealthiest organization in the world, with assets more than US, Europe and Vatican put together
3) It has the greatest collection of rare antiques (far more than Vatican)
4) It was responsible for helping Jefferson frame the Declaration of Independence. It fought alongside Washington in the American War of Independence. It was also present during the signing of the declaration where 56 members met in Philadelphia from 13 colonies. There were actually 57 members. One extra unrecorded observer was from this organization
5) It played a role in Hitler's defeat in WW-2. This was recognized by Churchill himself
6) Though it has no research wing, it helped Einstien solve the E=mc-squared equation
7) In its "primary area of control", there is no electricity. No TV, refrigerators, computers, etc.
8) It maintains its own history painstakingly. Due to reasons of heritage and legacy, the history is hand-written. Print is never used in any form.
9) It does not have a currency. All transactions are based in Gold. It uses other currencies in some transactions
10) Throughout its history it has helped several oppressed peoples rise against tyrants.
11) Today it is a great anti-drug force, destroying and causing great angst to the drug cartel. It uses only revolvers as its arms in trade. It does not believe in AK 47, fighter planes etc
12) Even today, the succession is by primogeniture. The supreme Leader, remains one till death. Thereafter, the eldest male child takes over. There has been only one woman leader (only child) in history.
 
Now, you have to name this organization/heritage. YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT IT. Internet search is perfectly acceptable for finding out.
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OK. Here is a hint (a give away really).
 
The organization was started when Christopher Walker, a young man, on Feb 17, 1536, took the skull of his father's killer in his hand and swore -
 
"I swear to devote my life to the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, and injustice, in all their forms! My sons and their sons shall follow me.""
 
Now can u guess who the guy was?

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PART 2

Here is the answer as a lot of you guessed.
 
Christopher Walker took the terrible oath and became Phantom today in 1536. He married Mirabella Columbus, who was actually the daughter of Christopher Columbus. The current phantom who rules today is the 21st in line.
 
The third phantom fought and convinced the dreaded pirate RedBeard to start and head the Jungle Patrol. The 6th phantom died by treachery and the jungle patrol chief has been a secret sever since.
 
The phantom legacy owns a whole beach where sand is 50% gold. There is a jade hut in the middle where every phantom celebrates his honeymoon. He also owns an island - the isle of Eden where lins and deer stay together in peace (lions eat fish). It also has the only stegausaurus family and the only Neantherthal family (of Hzz, Hrzz and Kid) in the world. Amongst his antiques is the cup of Alexander, the flask of Cleopatra. It was found out in the 21st century that one of the artifacts was made by the nails of Jesus Christ.
 
Some of the notable exploits of the Phantom include his argument with Thomas Jefferson. Apparently, the guy who actually wrote the declaration had goofed up. The goofup was pointed out by Phantom, and t was changed by Chamus. At the first continental congress, Phantom was actually hiding behind the cupboard watching the proceedings.
 
During the battle with George Washington, Lord Corwallis was surpriused that many of his soldiers came back in a state of faint with a skull mark on their jaws. When he signed the treaty of surrender with Washington, he say from his looking glass a masked man wearing a purple dress on a white steed. This prompted him to say, "Everything will now change. Everything HAS changed." While the statement of Lord Cornwallis is accepted by the British, the reason is not yet officially accepted.
 
He helped Lincoln abolish slavery, by fighting alongside Gen Grant against Gen Lee. He was responsible for bringing the Potomac under the Fed forces dividing the South.
 
He was the man who convinced Churchill about the D Day startegy. He presented himself to Churchill as Mr Walker. When Churchill called him "the most remarkable man I have ever seen" and went to thank him, Phantom had disappeared.
 
The 17th Phantom, when he was young and in college, (before being the Phantom) had a Prof called Dr Albert Einstien, a cranky guy with uncombed hair. Phantom actually game him the idea for E = mc squared.
 
No one has seen the eyes of phantom - it freezes the blood. Only once, ONLY ONCE mind you, phantom's eyes popped out and could be seen. It happenned when he saw a 400  year young queen suddenly lose her eternity ang go from flesh to bones to dust in a few minutes.
  

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PART 3

Here are some more -
 
How do you know that phantom is going to come (if you are a pirate?). You see a double rainbow in the sky
 
When Phantom married Marabella, daughter of Christopher Columbus, she was 20 years old. Christopher Columbus died in 1506-07. Phantom took oath in 1536. So she should have been atleast 30 years old. How? Because Mr. Columbus did not die in 1506, but rather in 1520s. He faked his own death to escape political intrigue, and lived a life of wealth, but anonymity.
 
The great Paracelsus, father of modern botany, found a ring with the skull mark on it. He presented it to Phantom. Along with that he also gave documentary evidence that the ring belonged to Emperor Nero, who used to to sign the "death decree". In 2000+, using genetic technology, it was revealed that the ring was made from the nails of Lord Jesus Christ. The news was suppressed from the world.
 
Current Phantom's mother looked a lot like Rita Hayworth - with one exception - she was superordinately brave and strong. She took up a job in Hollywood as Rita's double for dangerous scenes. In one scene, a goofup took place and she fell headlong into an abyss. Fortunately for her, a young observer, jumped into the abyss, caught her in midair, and climbed up, using an old cable. His name was Mr. Walker. They fell in love at first sight, and had a baby boy, the current Phantom (No 21)
 
Once, a group of aliens decided to take over earth. They wanted to "test" the creatures here. They chose a purple and white six legged creature to "test". Then they realized that they were two creatures - a 4 legged white one and a 2 legged purple one. How to find which one was more intelligent? They presumed it was the purple one - after all, if it was the white one, HE would be carried by the purple one. So they tested phantom with all sort of weapons like blasters and laser rays. Phantom, single handedly beat them all. They got scared. They thought - "if a SINGLE AVERAGE creature was this strong, better not mess around with them. They left earth for ever. This story was told by Old man Mozz to some children. One child asks, "Isn't it lucky that they chose phantom as the person to test?"
 
The great grandson of the current phantom, will become the 24th phantom. He will be in a new city, and will fight an evil corporation out to rule the world. Don't believe me? Check out Phantom 2040
 
There was only ONE female phantom, Julie Walker. While all phantoms had a horse and dog, she had a horse and cheetah.