On Technology

Technology is advancing at such a fast clip nowadays that it is impossible to keep up.  And AAARAAA too – that’s short for “Acronyms Are Advancing Rapidly Across All Activities”. I’m sure you are not aware of some of the latest technical (and management) acronyms that are a result of the initiative undertaken by AEIUAA - Association for Enhancement and Integration Of Universal Animal Acronyms.  If you haven’t heard of that organization, you should google.

The AGE Committee (Acronym Generation Evaluation Committee) is currently looking at including these acronyms into the DOTAGE – Dictionary of Technical Acronyms in
General English.

MULE: Multi User Limited Experience: Technical Enhancement to Massively Multi-user Online Games to Limit the experience of certain category of players based on age and other criteria.

DOG: Dedicated Optimized Gateway: The rapidly evolving science of Optimizing Dedicated Paths used by companies on Public Gateways to enable greater speeds while ensuring greater security of data.

CAT: Collaborative Application Terminal: Artificial Intelligence built into “dumb” terminals to enable collaboration across Applications.  Also stands for the Common Admission tests of the Indian Institutes of Management which are currently struggling to go online.

COW: Co-located Online Workstation: The new feature offered by certain advanced call centers, where two associates who are remotely located can be co-located thorough on-line meshing of their workstations.  A very advanced technology still under development.

PIG: Practical Implementation Guidelines: On the principle of KISS – Keep it Simple and Stupid comes this new SRS (Systems Requirement Specifications) development guideline – a new standard for Implementation Guidelines to be part of standard SRS documents in future.

EMU: Extended Management Unit: An extension of management cells into branch locations designed to replicate all decision-making functions – not just a branch office, but a head office in a branch.  When applied to Chip Manufacture, refers to remote special-purpose chips being used as temporary EMU’s or extensions of the CPU to speed up processing.

HEN: Heuristic Engagement Networks: Optical Fiber Networks that figure out on their own how to re-route data packets based on statistical analysis of traffic density at various points of time during the day, and current and expected load of traffic.  Uses extensive heuristic thumb-rules developed by the NSO – Network Statistical Organization.

ANT: Application Networking Terminal: A terminal that enables Applications to cross over on their own across various networks thus ensuring seamless connectivity and performance. 

RAM: Rapid Application Management: Software techniques to enable quick development of enhanced versions of existing applications – popularized by the new book “Ram it through” by Ram Ramgopal.

BEES: Business Enhancement and Effectiveness Strategy: A new technique originating from Harvard.  Means what it says.  What it says can be learnt more in detail through a five-day seminar in Boston costing 100,000 dollars. 

LIONS: Latency Inhibited Offline Network Server: A Server that acts as an Offline Inhibited Network Router – helping to cache data offline, for specified amounts to time depending on traffic density, and release it in tranches based on programmed latency models – the current servers that are being tested increase Total Network Throughput (TNT) by about 20% while the average increase in time delay is only 2 milliseconds.

MOOSE: Multi-User Online Oligopolistic Server Enhancement – an initiative by Microsoft and Intel to compete in the server market. They intend to combine their respective expertise in software and hardware to create special servers for massively multi-user online environments.  It’s one of the initiatives under their Future Initiatives Baselining (FIB) project.

OX: Obsolescent Xtras: Useless resource-guzzling features that all application software developers are alleged to add to their products to ensure that current hardware configurations become obsolescent.  It is suspected that this is a conspiracy between the major software and hardware companies to increase sales of their products.  The allegations have not been proven. “When they want to retire their hardware early, they ask the software people to OX it.”

FOX: Freeflowing Online Xtensions: Extensions to open source online software.

TIGER: Time Induced Growth and Extinguishment Rationale: Modern theory of how to manage a Product Life Cycle – how to grow it, milk it, and kill it over time.  Refer to the bestselling book “Evolution of the TIGER – Management Lessons from the Jungle” by Prof. Mule of Mumbai.

VIXEN: Vertically Integrated Xpanded Enhanced Networks: After the era of Networks expanding horizontally across the world – the coming era is expected to be one of vertically integrating all networks with the businesses and applications they serve to create a seamless global knowledge network.  Research in this area is fast gathering momentum.

ZEBRA: Zero-based Estimation of Budgets, and Rational Allocations: A new advancement in Finance theory combining zero-based budgeting with “Theory of Rational Allocations based on Social Inequality – a new Paradigm for Justice” by Prof. OBC Iyer.  This is expected to be the next big thing after Going Green.