Monday, June 24, 2013

What they say and what they mean - Conference Calls Part 2

Continuing on the subject of conference calls, it is wonderful to observe how a person's entire vocabulary undergoes a change when he/she enters into one. It is expected that one should be extremely polite on the calls, beyond the bounds of normal civility. Everyone is saying a lot of things, but often, they are not really saying anything. You have to go through quite a few of these before you learn to interpret what the other person means when she tells you...

What they say

What they mean

Thank you everyone for coming into the call

I know you would not have if you had the choice

That is a good question

I don't know the answer

That is a very good question

I don't know the answer – I wish you had not asked the question

That is an excellent question


Let's take that offline

I don't know the answer / the other idiots on the call can't be expected to understand / Let's forget about it

If your boss is on the call and tells you "let's take that offline"

I'll talk to you tomorrow morning about this

Can you please repeat the question

I was not listening


I confirm / I was not listening

That's a good point

I'm just letting you know that I'm still here though I was not listening

That's an excellent suggestion

I agree

That's an excellent suggestion

I don't agree

That's an excellent suggestion, but…

I think you have gone nuts

I don't agree

I have gone nuts

This is a very important initiative

I don't know who wants it and why it's required

It's a project driving towards our strategic objectives

I don't know what this project is all about

We are in agreement with you

Not agreeing will involve ten more calls – agreeing is far easier

We would like everyone to come on the same page

One more call spent in discussing context – I am quite willing to do that for the rest of my life – so long as there are no action points

Sorry about that

Just to underline that I am very polite

What you are saying is correct

People who live in glass houses don't throw stones

1 comment:

श्रीहरी कुलकर्णी said...

Apart from good, very good, excellent ... there is one more "That's a GRREATT question" means "You moron, go find out yourself."