Musings of a retiree

I retired from corporate life in 2013. The past eleven years has been a good ride. 

The usual advantages are of course there. Not having up get up at 6, get ready by 8, and rush to meet your doom is the obvious one. When I go past the slaughter house in Cox Town, I see goats led by  their goat herders, rushing inside, since there is some grass enticingly kept there. 

Whenever I step into a glass building, the likes of which despoil the whole of Bangalore, I close my eyes and mutter a silent prayer to my guardian angel, " but for the grace of God, here would have been I, thank you God". 

Many of my friends who could have retired earlier than me, did not. They stuck around for as long as they could. Some of them lasted till 60, but most left some time in their fifties. One columnist coined a good term for it, he called it "forced entrepreneurship". 

What are you doing after retirement? I am thinking of starting a startup. I have started a startup. I am consulting with a startup. Now, that seems very much like getting back into the rat race, but if that is what they want, so be it. They really like doing that stuff, I cannot for the life of me figure out why. In any case, the start up bug does not last for long, it is just a brief foray, a transition period to get adjusted to the idea that you have retired, somewhat akin to the interim job that the prisoner gets when finally released after twenty years in jail, which helps him to slowly ease  himself into the demands of the world outside. 

Quite a few of my friends have taken up "stock trading" after their retirement. I know only one who actually makes money on it. The rest are in it for a bunch of different reasons, none of them to do with stocks. Reason 1: have to get out of the house, spouse eating brain. This is from the friend who went to his broker friend's office every day to do stock trading. Reason 2: have intellectual horsepower and nowhere to deploy it, and am used to doing a lot of activity for very little output - stock trading is the right fit. Reason 3: No one can really make out how much I am working and how much money I am  making when I do stock trading, and it is impossible to judge. If I take up baking for example, every day I will be told that my cakes taste like mud! 

I, on the other hand, chose a different path. I took the path that appeals to a few retired people, that is that of giving Gyan. I became a part time teacher in an MBA college. Now this comes with a load of advantages. Adv. 1: The spouse is happy that you are busy, all spouses need to see you busy, otherwise they get mighty upset. Adv.2: There is a captive audience willing to listen to you, or at least pretend to be listening to you. I have reached the stage in life where no one listens to me at home. Adv.3: I get a lot of respect, the same respect that my Direct Reports used to give me when I was in the company. The students laugh at all my jokes and keep telling me how great I am in different small ways. The fact that I am the sole arbiter of their marks has nothing to do with it of course. Adv. 4: I have some place to go to,  that is very important. 

One thing I have noticed about retired people. They are immensely courteous to each other. Whenever my retired friends call me, they always say, "Dinesh, I hope I am not disturbing you in the middle of something important?". Now,  they know and I know that I am not likely to be doing anything important, but the pretence has to be maintained. I return the same courtesy when I call them and , as if on cue they reply, " oh I was in the middle of something, but for you, Dinesh, I will make the time!", which is of course exactly what I want to hear. 

Meanwhile I get more time to write, more time to travel, and more time to do nothing in particular. And I am always busy - there is something about work, it expands to fill the time available. The last three days, for example, I was busy on my Tax Returns. When I was working full time this would have taken me three hours at most. 

I am glad I retired when I did. Every day in the last eleven years has been a picnic. 

To my friends out there who are still working, I would like to say this: 

Retire boss, retire, it's a good life!